Prime Path 29:
Side Conversation 02
An Effective Strategy
When we talk about assholes, and about joyful, loving beings, let's be clear about what we're saying.
We're not saying that being an asshole is a bad way to be, and we're not saying that being an asshole is not a bad way to be. We're also not saying that being an asshole is the wrong way to be, and we're not saying that being an asshole is not the wrong way to be.
Similarly, we're not saying that being a joyful, loving being is a good way to be, and we're not saying that being a joyful loving being is not a good way to be. We're also not saying that being a joyful, loving being is the right way to be, and we're not saying that being a joyful, loving being is not the right way to be.
This is going to be tough for you to get, but, you see, in this coaching, we're not talking about right/wrong and good/bad. The reason that this is tough for you to get is because we human beings always talk in ways that are underlied with right/wrong and good/bad.
Right/wrong and good/bad are what are called "value judgments." So, instead of saying that we're not talking about right/wrong and good/bad, we could say "we're not talking about value judgments."
But, because we think like we talk, it is more impactful to say "in SkyVillage, we're not thinking with value judgments." Truly, the way human beings have been trained to think, we're always thinking right/wrong good/bad, to the degree that, for almost everyone, almost all of the time, nothing but a right/wrong good/bad world even exists.
That is, for you, almost always, the things that you perceive in the world are always interpreted in terms of right/wrong and good/bad, and are interpreted in this manner so exclusively that no other interpretive possibility even exists.
So, as we've been saying, it will prove challenging for you to not think in terms of value judgments, that is, right/wrong good/bad.
You see, that right/wrong good/bad thinking (and way of being) is about herding you up with your fellow humans, so that the general, overall standard of human conduct permits civilization. We're touching in a fairly light way upon an enormous idea here. Philosophers have devoted the lion's share of their life's work to the importance and consequences of this idea. My relationship to this idea is akin to Prometheus's relationship with fire. It could be said that this entire website is about carefully handling the possibilities, impact and consequences of this idea.
The degree to which humans have been trained to think in terms of value judgments means that most humans will react with anger, outrage, hostility, and potential violence to the idea that certain behaviors aren't "bad and wrong". So, if I said, "behavior X is not bad and wrong", I would be canceled. No one would ever pay any attention to any of my coaching ever again. This means that I have to be very careful in how I phrase this discussion.
I am not saying that behavior X is not bad and wrong.
I am saying that it is useful, if you want to take a shot at living your life to the full, to develop for yourself an awareness of the prevalence and overwhelming nature of value judgment way of thinking and being according to which you have been profoundly trained, and it's profound, unconscious, overwhelming prevalence and acceptance in our shared culture--it's harsh, bossy belligerence and demand for obedience and conformity--and to see (that is, to cultivate awareness concerning, at not only a conceptual but also at an experiential level) the cost, in terms of quality of life, in your life, and in human life in general, of the unconscious, absolute adoption of the value judgment way of thinking.
This can be hard to get: I'm not saying that being forced to do good is the problem. I'm saying that being forced to think in terms of right/wrong good/bad is the problem. The harsh, bossy belligerence and demand for obedience and conformity of which I speak above is not directed at the gravitational force that exists in our society that says that you must do good. The harsh, bossy belligerence and demand for obedience and conformity of which I speak is directed at the much more overwhelming gravitational force that exists in our society according to which you view everything in terms of right/wrong and good/bad.
Suppose that you and I knew the same person, and I thought that this person was a bad person, and you thought that this person was a good person. You see, you might argue with me about whether or not Person X was a good person, but you wouldn't argue with me that applying a good vs. bad standard to human beings is a limited and ultimately flawed mode of interpretation. You'd only say that person X isn't a bad person, but is instead a good person, which still leaves you encumbered inside the value judgment way of thinking itself.
So, to be more down to earth, when it comes to questioning the effectiveness, workability, and functionality of a value judgment based mode of interpretation, our concern here is what it does to you and the quality of your life, really, when you go around spending most of your time being a nasty, judgmental, fault-finding asshole concerning yourself and your fellow human beings--that is, when you are being a person who unconsciously and totally adopts a right/wrong good/bad contextual interpretation of our existence.
I'm not saying that the problem lies in speaking that way. I'm not saying that the problem lies in behaving that way.
I am saying that the problem lies in being that way.
The thing is, the ultimate result of all this value judgment stuff, which is the civilization we've got going on, well, it sort of works, in a fucked up sort of way, more or less, kind of, I guess, but take a good look around. Almost NONE of the people out there are living their lives to the full. Far from it, in fact. Like we said, mostly, they're assholes. So, if we want you to live your life to the full, we've got to open up your eyes and coach you into developing an ability to rise about this "value judgment herding thing". (We'll talk more about this down the road.)
So, what's the problem with always seeing everything in terms of value judgments? It's simple: applying that interpretation to everything tends to obscure and disempower the truth. The enormous unconscious gravitational "value judgment" tendency that we share and that we've been trained to apply to reality makes it hard to discern what's really going on.
Most importantly, it makes it hard to see, and to "get", what works.
It's readily obvious that this lack of awareness will result in a diminished the quality of life.
So, in SkyVillage, instead of talking about what is right or wrong, or good or bad, we're going to talk about what works. To flesh this idea out, we're going to talk about what works in terms of generating a life of the highest quality, that is, a life lived to the full.
Instead of saying that being a joyful/loving being is a good way to be, or the right way to be, here's what I am saying. In other words, this is my coaching:
Over the course of this website, I'm going to ask you to take a look at the functional relationship between being a joyful/loving being and the authentic quality of your life. So, this is not about the morality of being an asshole, as opposed to being a joyful, loving being, and this is not about the ethics of being an asshole, as opposed to being a joyful, loving being.
Instead, SkyVillage is about what works concerning being an asshole as opposed to being a joyful, loving being, if the intended result is the generation of a life of the highest quality.
So, in it's simplest terms, I will be asking you to consider the idea that if you want to live your life to the full, then it works to be a joyful, loving being.
It would be a good idea, right now, to say this using other language, to make sure it gets across.
I am asking you to consider the idea that, if you want to live your life to the full, then it is effective to be a joyful, loving being.
I am asking you to consider the idea that, if you want to live your life to the full, then it is a working strategy to be a joyful, loving being.
I am asking you to consider the idea that, in the long run, taken as a whole, the more that you show up as an authentic joyful, loving being, the better--that is, the richer, the fuller, the more satisfying, and the more rewarding--your life is going to be.
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