Resistance And Barriers 01:
Main Discussion:
Resistance and Barriers
While you are working with SkyVillage, you are likely to encounter resistance in the form of barriers.
These "resistance barriers" commonly show up as:
--Fatigue
--Discomfort
--Confusion, aimlessness, lack of motivation, paralysis, indecisiveness, impairment, incompetence, and/or dysfunctionality
--Irritability, offense, grumpiness, crankiness, frustration, disagreement, and/or disbelief
--Fear, terror, hysteria, panic, stress, anxiety, and/or nervousness
--An enormous variety of physical symptoms (most commonly headache, digestive issues, or muscle and joint pain)
--An insistent craving to engage in distractions (such as eating, watching television, and/or messing around on a cell phone)
--Distracting, clamorous, and possibly unsettling thoughts and memories When these challenging and uncomfortable barriers show up, you will often experience thoughts such as "this is too difficult", "this is too uncomfortable", "I can't handle this", "this is stupid", "this is wrong", or "fuck this shit".
In turn, all of this will often give rise to an impulse or compulsion to take a break, or to quit SkyVillage entirely.
Here's what's going on with this:
You are resistant to personal growth, because personal growth threatens to take you out of your comfort zones.
So, unconsciously, you implement resistance barriers so as to thwart your personal growth, and keep yourself "safe".
Let's make a distinction in order to keep things clear. In general, we use the term "barrier" to apply to any boundary that you implement so as to exclude certain conduct.
So, far example, you have a barrier to driving off of the edge of a cliff, or showing up in public naked. Things like that.
However, the type of barrier that we are concerned with here is a "resistance barrier". This specific type of barrier is one that you implement--almost always unconsciously--so as to thwart personal growth.
Well, of course, SkyVillage brings forth personal growth, so here's what can happen:
You'll be working with this coaching, and then, perhaps gradually, or perhaps suddenly, you'll encounter a barrier. So, for example, you'll be reading about a particular idea, and then you'll be hit by a wave of fatigue. (Fatigue is a very common barrier.) Or, perhaps you'll find yourself increasingly offended and irritated by the ideas you are encountering. Or, you might suddenly get a headache, or a backache. Or maybe you might find yourself getting more and more confused, and unable to concentrate.
When a barrier shows up, you'll want to take a break. You might even feel as if you need to quit this coaching entirely. And, because barriers are uncomfortable, encountering a barrier might make you less likely to return to this coaching if you step aside for a bit.
Among other places, barriers can erupt when one encounters impactful coaching--that is, coaching that really hits home. In fact, the internal, unconscious mechanism that generates barriers has a seemingly supernatural ability to identify potent, effective coaching, and to erupt accordingly so as to thwart it, and keep you mired in your comfort zone.
Accordingly, folks making progress in life learn that when they encounter barriers, then the ideas with which they were engaging at the time that they ran into the barrier merit special attention.
To "get where you are" when a barrier arises, the first thing you need to do is to identify the barrier as a barrier. Sometimes, this can be tricky. Resistance barriers look like other things. Also, resistance barriers tend to arise when a person hits a place where they tend to stop--in other words, where they get confronted, challenged, or triggered. The thing to do is to simply recognize this stopping point as a barrier.
Then, give the resistance barrier a name--such as "fatigue", "confusion", or "impatience."
After that, describe the barrier to yourself, in an effectively complete way. By this I mean, describe it's symptoms, the feelings that are generated, and the thoughts that arise. Get specific. Include a description of any body sensations.
If you get really stuck, then you can write all of this down. Writing stuff down helps. It makes things real, gives them oomph, generates traction, and gets things moving.
You can talk to someone about it, as well. Bringing a resistance barrier out in the open with a coach or a friend can often help make it disappear.
Then, after you identify the barrier, and after you describe it, then simply allow the barrier to be. "Get" it. Sit with it like a brick in your lap. In other words, just hang out with the barrier, and fully experience it.
Remember: resistance begets persistence.
So, instead of resisting or fighting a barrier when it shows up, or making yourself wrong for having sourced it, the thing to do (perhaps strangely) is to accept and honor the barrier. The internal mechanism that is generating the barrier might be misguided, but it is coming from a valid place: it is trying to keep you safe.
It can help to acknowledge that your internal mechanisms are only concerned for your safety, but then you can declare that you are capable and worthy of moving forward in life, and that your life will be better if you do so, so the time has come to set the barrier aside and move on.
It is impactful to identify the place where you stopped--that is, the nature of the coaching with which you were engaging, or the situation with which you were confronted, when the barrier showed up. That is likely to be a topic that warrants further examination.
Overall, the thing to do is to recognize that you are encountering resistance barriers because you are challenging yourself to grow. Recognize that the emergence of these barriers means that you are engaging with effective coaching, and that you are doing good, positive, courageous work.
Encountering a barrier might not "feel" great, but it IS great. Congratulate yourself. Seriously. Give yourself praise.
If, after dealing with the barrier, you wish to carry on, then go back and continue with the coaching.
But, if you find yourself slowed or stopped by a barrier, then it might be a good time to take a break. After all, you've done good work. This is a marathon, not a sprint. There comes a time during the day when you've challenged yourself enough. You've confronted a barrier. You've identified it, described it, and experienced it. You've "gotten where you are." Good work! You are likely to find that all of this will lead to personal growth, or perhaps a breakthrough.
Outstanding, Padawan.
Now, if you choose to take a break, then go back and bookmark the page at which you stopped, then step aside, and come back tomorrow, or the next day.
Otherwise, with my blessings, return to the path you were on by clicking here.
I've developed additional coaching concerning resistance and barriers (and related topics) in the side pages that follow. You don't have to read these pages. You'll be fine without them.
But if you'd like to dig into the topic of resistance and barriers in more depth--or if you find that you often struggle with barriers, either here in SkyVillage, or out there in the world--then you can head deeper into this conversation by clicking here.
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